Scott Baby #8!!!!!

Scott Baby #8!!!!!

Scott Baby #8 is on the way!  

The FACTs

1. Our baby is due in mid to late June.
2. Our baby is a BOY!
3. Our baby has Down Syndrome.

The Details

Detail #1:  To say we were a LITTLE bit surprised to learn Rachel was pregnant now in our mid 40s would be an understatement.  Our twins are Freshmen in college, my sister (who is three years older than me) has a GRANDCHILD, and we were told nearly 15 years ago that we could “no longer have children naturally.”  While the “natural” arrival of Mr. Isaiah in 2013 put that diagnosis to rest, the odds of a couple like us having a child now at our age is only 1%.   But 1% is 1%, and we beat the odds!  

Here is the obligatory sonogram picture to prove this is no joke…

But our favorite part of this detail was AJ’s reaction when he learned Rachel was pregnant. On the day we had this sonogram, we had to bring AJ with us to the appointment.  We figured it was time for him to know and thought this would be a fun way to tell him.  His face is priceless as is his little song he starts singing…   

https://youtu.be/4SW7QZu3lK4 (text link in case embedded video doesn't work)

Detail #2:  We are definitely having a baby boy!  We know this from very obvious sonogram pictures as well as an amazing blood test that can pick up traces of baby’s DNA in mom’s blood.  We revealed on Christmas day to our other children that they will be having a little brother in June.  The older kids and AJ already knew baby was on the way; this video shows our youngest two learning about baby as well as the gender ‘reveal’

https://youtu.be/iMRL9K5qjJs  (text link in case embedded video doesn't work)

I tried editing this video down but there were so many funny / cute moments that I mostly just left everything in.  The reveal starts at the 4:38 mark if you just want to see that...but you will laugh at Isaiah and Tallie being all excited about baby in the earlier parts. The things Isaiah says are just hilarious.

Detail #3:  The blood test which let us know our baby is a boy also revealed that he almost certainly has Down Syndrome.  When you receive news like this it initially is like being punched in the stomach.  I remember hanging up the phone with the doctor’s office, talking with Rachel, and then heading back upstairs where our three youngest children were playing loudly (not uncommon) and dancing around the living room.  I originally headed upstairs to quiet the kids down, but I ended up just sitting in the chair….silent, numb in every way and watching them.

I started thinking about how beautiful their faces were, how wonderful their loud voices were, how bright their futures were and my mind went to a dark place wondering whether our newest son would ever be thought of as beautiful.  Would he have difficulty speaking?  Would he ever be independent and have a bright future?  This moment was the darkest moment for me in this journey we are now on.  

Down Syndrome (DS)

Since then, Rachel and I have thoroughly researched DS, met with doctors who specialize in caring for children with DS, met with a friend who has a 12 year old child with DS, and have learned many valuable lessons.  Near the end of this note are a number of websites we would encourage you to visit to learn more about DS.  Here are some highlights:

• DS occurs when an individual has a full or partial extra copy of chromosome 21. This additional genetic material alters the course of development and causes the characteristics associated with DS.  The condition happens at conception and parents have nothing to do with their child having DS
• DS is the most commonly occurring chromosomal condition. Approximately one in every 700 babies in the United States is born with DS – about 6,000 each year
• People with DS have an increased risk for certain medical conditions such as congenital heart defects, respiratory and hearing problems, and thyroid conditions. Many of these conditions are now treatable, so most people with DS lead healthy lives and life expectancy is now 60 years.  (Note: We have had specialized sonograms done which thankfully showed no evidence of any abnormalities in our son's heart)
• A few of the common physical traits of DS are: low muscle tone, small stature, an upward slant to the eyes, and a single deep crease across the center of the palm. Every person with DS is a unique individual and may possess these characteristics to different degrees or not at all
• People with DS attend school, work, participate in decisions that affect them, have meaningful relationships, vote and contribute to society in many wonderful ways
• All people with DS experience cognitive delays, but the effect is usually mild to moderate and is not indicative of the many strengths and talents that each individual possesses
• Quality educational programs, a stimulating home environment, good health care and positive support from family, friends and the community enable people with DS to lead fulfilling and productive lives

Kids with DS have the same range of emotions as anyone else.  Our son will be happy, sad, angry etc just like all of our other kids.  There is a misconception that all kids with DS are happy all the time, but the reality is they show a range of emotions.  

Having said that, 99% of people 12 or older with DS report they are happy with their lives (compared to 45% of ‘normal’ people who take the same survey).  97% of children with DS get along well with their siblings and current research supports the notion that brothers and sisters are more inclined to be positively impacted by a sibling with DS.  Specifically, siblings showed more kindness, were more empathic, and had less conflict and more warmth in their relationships.  In addition, siblings of kids with DS are more likely than their peers to embark on careers in social service fields like education, social work, nursing, medicine, and research.  

While there will certainly be extra work in caring for a child with DS, it is comforting to know these positive aspects of DS I just wrote about.  

WHAT YOU CAN DO

We know many of you may not know what to say to us when you see us - and we understand. We’re not sure we would have known what to say either.  We would appreciate if you could avoid saying “I’m sorry.”  We have heard from other parents that they hear this a lot, and it tends to hurt after awhile.  We have listed a few websites below which might help:

http://downsyndromepregnancy.org/book/your-loved-one/  (please download and read the PDF ‘book’....the site asks for your email address but does not send extra emails unless you check the box for their newsletter)

https://www.womansday.com/relationships/family-friends/a7480/down-syndrome/  Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Mother of a Child With Down Syndrome

https://katrinastonoff.wordpress.com/2007/10/09/what-to-say-when-your-friends-baby-has-down-syndrome/  What to Say When Your Friend’s Baby has Down Syndrome

In short, do not pity us!  Our baby is an unexpected but wonderful gift who will change our lives, our family’s life, and our community for good.  

FINAL THOUGHTS

Here is one truth both Rachel and I know….our baby boy is an image bearer of God.  He is intrinsically valuable because in this broken world of ours, he is an image bearer of the sovereign Lord.  We love this little boy.  We look forward to being his Mommy and Daddy.  And we can’t wait to see God’s plan for his life unfold.  

Earlier in this note I talked about the darkest moment for me was just after receiving news of our son’s diagnosis.  I headed upstairs to quiet down our 3 young children but instead of asking them to quiet down I just sat in a chair and watched them be loud, rambunctious, fun loving kids.  

And in that moment, our 4 year old Isaiah did something he has never done before.  He quieted down on his own (rare), climbed into my lap, started twirling the gold cross I wear around my neck and said “Jesus died on the cross.”  And then he looked at me, smiled and said “But He’s alive!”  It was as if Jesus was reminding me through our 4 year old that He was still there, He was well aware of all that was going on, and that everything would be ok….because the truth is, He is Alive!  

While there are amazing people who choose to adopt children who have Down Syndrome, no one prays to conceive a child with Down Syndrome.  That is the truth.  So, while neither Rachel or I would have chosen this path on our own, we are confident in Jesus’ Goodness, His Grace, His Authority, His Power, His Love.  We can think back on a number of very disappointing situations in our lives that we never would have chosen on our own that ended up being some of the greatest blessings in our lives.  As a family, we have seen how “He works all things together for good for those who believe” (Romans 8:28).  

I pulled my phone out and asked Isaiah to go through what he had just said and have this sweet recording of Isaiah talking about Jesus’ “aliveness”  (what I recorded, you can listen to here: https://youtu.be/gZD8QdJl8fk ....it's not exactly what he said to me originally but it is precious nonetheless). Seeing me smile, Isaiah then hopped off my lap and started playing loudly as if nothing had happened.   

Less than 20 minutes later I got the following text from an old friend who moved 1000 miles away about 3 years ago.  I hadn’t received a text from him in a long time and here is what he wrote:

“Just started reading through that print out you gave us years ago about God’s glory.  Andrew, we are alive and breathing right now to Glorify Him in all things!”  

So, in summary, less than 30 minutes after receiving what felt like devastating, life altering news our 4 year old son crawls into my lap to remind me about Jesus and an old friend texts me about something I wrote to him years ago about God’s Glory in all things....Coincidence?  I don’t think so.  I believe the Lord was at work comforting me during that hour and helping me have confidence that everything was going to be alright.  

Perhaps someday Rachel and I will write a story like the ones on this page:  http://downsyndromepregnancy.org/who-was-i-then-who-am-i-now/  (wonderful stories from parents of kids with DS).  In the meantime, we ask you to pray for our baby boy and that God will indeed use him powerfully for His Glory.  

God bless,

Andrew and Rachel

PS  If you are in our local area, please forward this post to those you know who are in our church and local community.  We don't have everyone's email address and not everyone will see the posting on social media.  We would prefer having friends and acquaintances learn about our baby through this blog post, have time to read through some of the links provided, and think about how to respond instead of having to explain everything a hundred times over the next several months.  Thank you!