Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Adoption: Leia Joy Esther Scott

Rachel and I are proud to introduce our 6th child and 4th daughter...

Leia Joy Esther Scott 

Born in China April 8, 2002, her name honors her current Chinese name, speaks to how we think of her, honors one of the great women of faith in our family, and includes the name that God used to lead her into our family. 


Leia – Part of Leia’s current Chinese name is ‘Lei’   Given her age, we wanted to honor her Chinese roots by choosing a name for her that was similar to her current name.  We were thrilled to learn that adding an ‘a’ to the end resulted in a beautiful name, Leia (pronounced LAY-uh) with a beautiful meaning - ‘child of heaven; heavenly flowers.’  As noted below, there is no question in our minds that God meant for this child to end up in our family.  Child of heaven indeed. 

Joy – We chose the name Joy not only because of the emotion we feel when we think of this child, but also as a way to honor my sister Heather whose middle name is Joy.  Any child adopted out of China comes from a place of brokenness – broken due to medical ailments or being orphaned or any number of difficult circumstances.  While Rachel and I have chosen to allow our children privacy on these kinds of matters, it should not be a surprise to anyone that Leia has experienced loss in her life.  My sister Heather is a mighty woman of God who loves Jesus deeply.  She has experienced loss in her life that would crush most women and yet today she is simply one of the most amazing people I know.  Our great hope is that Leia will learn to lean into the Lord as my sister Heather has done and find healing and wholeness where true healing and wholeness comes from. 

Esther -  I will never read the Biblical story of Esther the same way again.  Through this story God led us to Leia and that is why Esther is part of her name. 

In the next blog entry I will write about how we came to adopt through China.   But for understanding how ‘Esther’ impacted Leia’s story, one only needs to know that we started the adoption process in May 2015 being matched to our now nearly 2 year old Chinese daughter.  We learned after doing our home study and dossier that we could adopt two children on the same dossier.  However, most two person adoptions involved sibling groups or children from the same orphanage….neither of which was going to be the case with the girl we were already matched with.  Regardless, we prayed about this as a family and were open to the idea of adopting two children on this trip should the opportunity present itself. 

By November we were well on our way to getting all the approvals necessary to travel to China in January.  During this time, our church’s youth director asked Rachel to give a message to the youth about Esther.  As she researched the story and started gathering ideas, she noticed on one of the adoption Facebook groups a girl named ‘Esther’ was available for adoption.  Curious given the fact the she was researching the Biblical Esther, she decided to research this ‘Esther’ as well.  This girl was our Leia. 

As a sidenote, you may have noticed in the past two blog posts the term "For Such A Time As This..." included in the message.  That phrase is from the story of Esther and was the theme Rachel spoke about to the youth.  Little did she know she was preaching to herself as that is exactly how we felt when the opportunity to adopt Leia finally presented itself.  We were put in this place and time 'for such a time as this'  

Anyway, Rachel read through her information noticing immediately that she had hearing aids just like our Hayleigh.  She watched a video of her and immediately noticed the kind spirit when ‘Esther’ spoke to a younger child and the respect she gave an adult along with full eye contact in another part of the video.  AJ watched the video and announced, “That’s my big sister!!!”  


All these things prompted Rachel to call the adoption agency to inquire about her status.  She learned that ‘Esther’ was 13 years old and according to rules set up in China she would ‘age out’ on her next birthday which was April 8.  Another flag went off in Rachel’s mind as that is the birth date of our son AJ!  What are the odds of finding a child with hearing aids like one of our children and a birth date of another one of our children?  Coincidence? 

Rachel learned that ‘aging out’ meant if this girl’s adoption is not totally completed before her 14th birthday she would never be allowed to have a forever family.   While China allows children like this to continue to live at the orphanage and continue to be educated, you can image that with no family the long term outcomes are often not very positive.  Rachel was grateful to learn that a family was pursuing ‘Esther’ already, and it looked like she would have a forever family after all. 

Rachel asked the adoption agency if they had a 'waiting list' just in case something happened but they said ‘No, we don’t have a list like that.  Besides, we are confident this adoption will go through.”  Rachel went back to the adoption facebook page, left a message about how wonderful she thought this child was and that if something fell through with the adoption she would be interested in adopting her.  And we thought that was that. 

Fast forward the middle of January 2016….we received our travel approval for going to China for our nearly 2 year old child and researched buying plane tickets for January 22.  While doing this Rachel received an urgent Facebook message from someone she doesn’t know referring back to that ‘Esther’ thread from November.  The person told Rachel that the adoption had fallen through and with less than three months before ‘Esther’ aged out she was looking for a family to step up and take this precious child into their family.

We called Esther’s adoption agency and confirmed this was true.  Within a few minutes we received her more detailed electronic information packet.  I immediately noticed one important date in her life was my birthday and one important date happened last year literally the week we decided to adopt from China.  More coincidences? 

We called a family meeting that night and talked and prayed and talked some more and prayed some more.  We slept on it and ultimately we all agreed to open our hearts and our family to adopt this child.  Two other families had contacted the adoption agency before us but by the end of the weekend neither of them could move forward (not enough time to get paperwork done etc). 

Monday morning January 18 we got notification of our consulate appointment in China for our little one and while reading that note the call came in from Esther’s adoption agency saying if we wanted to adopt her, she was all ours. 

WE SAID YES YES YES!!!!    I wish I had a video of the little boys jumping up and down in excitement over this news.  AJ had been right after all….she was going to be his big sister AND his family birthday buddy.   

We called our adoption agency and told them what was going on.  They said that if we travel to get our nearly 2 year old daughter that it would trigger all kinds of new paperwork.  Therefore, it would be better to cancel the consulate appointments, do the paperwork that needed to be done for ‘Esther’ and then go to China near the end of March. 

That Monday in January, I felt God’s fingerprints all over this situation….not just because of all the coincidences but just something that I couldn’t explain.  Wednesday the 20th I got the  call that my 86 year old father was probably not going to live through the night.  I flew to Dallas and he lived until the 22nd which was the day Rachel and Sarah would have been on a flight to China had none of this happened.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so.

On my father’s last day of life with all the family who had made it to his bedside, I was able to tell them the story of our daughter Leia.  Her story was the last great story I was able to share with my father before his story here on earth ended and his new story began in heaven. 


Gotcha Day 

'Gotcha Day' is a term in the adoption community when you meet your child for the first time.  Real time this happened Easter Sunday in America (though it was the next day in China).  I was able to Facetime and talk with Leia for the first time Easter Sunday night just before midnight here in the States.  The translator was still with them and so I was able to explain the significance of her name to her.  She wanted us to write out the name for her and this picture I took while she was looking at her name for the first time.  This was really a special time for all of us and I will leave it at that....

Leia looking at her name for the first time

I'm going to post the picture below again because I love it so much.  The past 2 days I have been just like a brand new father showing this picture to pretty much anyone who would look.  "Let me show you my new daughter!"....to the receptionist at the dentist, the sandwich making lady at the restaurant in town, the mailman, the people at the gas station, people at the school, a guy who showed up at the door trying to sell me something "not interested, but let me show you my new daughter!"  




Rachel says things are going exceptionally well.  Leia calls her 'mama' and is 'so helpful, sweet, and kind.'  The sisters are playing games together and bonding.  In China, older children have the right to say 'No' after meeting the family.  Just as we said 'YES' to her back in January, she said 'YES' to us yesterday.  She is officially our daughter!  Blessings abound and we thank God for our 'child of heaven' Leia.  

As I post this on the evening of March 29 in America, Rachel and the girls are waking up in Nanchang China (flew there late on the 29th in China) and are preparing to pick up our youngest child a few hours from now.  Can't wait to introduce you to her in the next day or two!  

Until then God bless,

Andrew


Sister bonding....



My comment to Rachel was "Don't you think we should teach her English before we teach her to gamble?"  :)  


On the way to the airport...


Leia's first time on an airplane!  Flying from Shenyang to Nanchang.  Look at that dimple!!!!


An absolutely hilarious picture of Leia meeting her brothers for the first time.  Naked and in the bathtub.  Look at her and Sarah laughing!   They called when the boys were in the tub....what was I supposed to do???





Sunday, March 27, 2016

Adoption: A Mother's Thoughts, A Father's Thoughts

A Mother’s Thoughts…

I am supposed to be asleep, but I am lying awake thinking about tomorrow... I've been counting the hours until we meet her, our new daughter who isn't so new.  A girl who has been waiting almost 14 years for her forever family.  I have caught myself thinking about a speech I heard once from a Christian who rescues women and girls from the evil practice of sex trafficking.  As she spoke of God’s love, one of the girls said "if your God loves me so much why didn't he come sooner to get me?"  And the Christian’s response was "because for too long I didn't listen."   

Since I was a small girl I have wanted to adopt children from Asia.  And I wonder if some day I won't be asked that same question..."why did you take so long to come get me?"  The ‘why’ questions are sometimes the hardest questions.  But I know as well that many of my ‘why’ questions from long ago that seemed so unfair, difficult, and confusing at the time….I can see now how God used those times to mold me and change me.  I am praying for guidance and the ability to help our new daughter.  God’s timing is perfect and I don't know why it is now but we are here, for such a time as this....

I hope we do not disappoint.  I hope we are what she has pictured in her dreams.  I hope she can see us and love us despite the broken people we are...broken people that opened our arms and said, "Here I am."  So here we are Lord; take and use us...Please help us and especially help our new children to be courageous and strong.



A Father’s Thoughts…

When Rachel and I started talking about a future together, we discussed the topic of how many children we wanted.  I said 4.  She said 2.  And somehow that has now ended up as 7.  Yes, God has a sense of humor! 

More precisely, God has used children in our lives to change us.  Initially that change came through a long, frustrating, painful desire.  We tried unsuccessfully to have children for 3 years.  I remember the ache, the hurt when people would ask “When are you two going to start having kids?” or the most unhelpful “Just relax and it will happen.”  Before this time in our life, I never would have considered adopting.  Never.  It wasn’t on my radar.  As a 20 something year old man having a biological child was absolutely critical to me, but 3 years of failure in getting pregnant broke me of that thought. 

In the summer of 1998, Rachel and I decided we would adopt if she was not pregnant by the end of the year.  We researched how much it would cost, identified adoption agencies and started saving money.  By the end of July Rachel was pregnant with Vienna and Hayleigh….but the desire to adopt never went away.

We learned in the years to come that having children can be hard.  When your child’s life is in danger you realize just how little control you have…and it breaks you, humbles you, molds you. 

While we were thrilled to welcome Sarah into the world in 2002, we also experienced 3 miscarriages from 2000 to 2004.  Those little lives are known to God and to us.  We grieved their loss…and something in each of us changed. 

After the 2004 miscarriage, the doctors told us we could no longer have children naturally.  We learned in 2013 that doctors don’t always know what they are talking about.   God does indeed have a sense of humor because little Isaiah was conceived quite naturally during the first month of our 8 month mission trip around the world! 

But back to 2004….when we thought we could no longer have children, the seed of adopting that had been planted in 1998 sprung forth.  We became foster parents for a season hoping to adopt in that way but for a variety of reasons that pathway to adoption didn’t work out.  We attempted to do a private adoption of an older child in Ukraine but for a variety of reasons that didn’t work out either. 

These things can be frustrating and confusing as one is going through them.  But as we were telling someone about our failed adoption in Ukraine, the door opened through that person to our son AJ.  We knew we were going to adopt him before he was born, and I wanted our first son to know for certain that I have always thought of him in one way and one way only.  He is my son.  Not my adopted son, my son.  I gave him my name so that he would know that all the days of his life – Andrew John. 

This ‘he is my son’ thought remained with me all through the adoption process, and then the most wonderful thing happened.  When we got the call that AJ was on his way into the world, the feelings I had that night waiting for his arrival were EXACTLY THE SAME as the feelings I had when our daughters were born.  Exactly the same.  God knit that little boy into my heart, and he is indeed my son. 

I have wondered over the past year what it would be like to adopt someone who had already been born.  Would I feel the same?  And now I know….

God has knit these girls into my heart.  They are my daughters.  The anticipation, the excitement, the nervousness, the ‘about to be a father’ feelings that only truly happen when you are about to be a father again…they are all present right here and right now. 

As I send this note, Rachel and Sarah have just left the hotel to pick up our soon to be 14 year old daughter….

Father, on this Easter Sunday I thank you for your Son Jesus.  Thank you for adopting us into your eternal family through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.  Thank you for the opportunity to be a father once more and for knitting these two girls into this father’s heart as they are already knitted into Yours.  In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen. 


Friday, March 25, 2016

Adoption: For Such A Time As This....

Three years ago I started this blog to document our journey serving Jesus around the world for 8 months.  I knew that time would be life changing for our family... and it was.  I wanted the kids to be able to look back many years from now and perhaps show their own children what they did, what they learned, and how we grew as a family and as followers of Jesus Christ.

A few months after our return we had another major life and family event as we nearly lost our Hayleigh and at the same time our 5th child, Isaiah, came into the world.

While family milestones and significant life experiences have certainly continued the past 27 months since I last posted, it wasn't until this week I felt it was time to post something new to the blog.

WE'RE ADOPTING!  



After much prayer (and much paperwork!), Rachel and Sarah are on their way to China to pick up our two newest daughters.

As they meet each child, starting with the older one, I will post more details about our journey to each child, explain their names, and introduce you...our friends and family....to our daughters.

For now, here are their pictures....




Words cannot explain how excited we are to welcome these two blessings into our family.  Please pray for safe travels and that everything goes well in China.

"Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."  James 1:27

God bless,

Andrew

PS  Sarah and Rachel are literally on their way as I'm writing this post.  For a variety of reasons we decided it would be best for me to stay here with most of the kids and for Rachel and Sarah to travel to China.  They will be gone 16 days and return home April 10 and then we will be a family of 9!!!!

Here are the first pics from my excited wife and daughter....


Rachel really likes this one with Sarah kind of glancing at her out of the corner of her eye...


Of course, during their layover in Chicago they had to have Chinese food ;)



And, apparently, Rachel needs some work using the correct side of chop sticks.  She is a quick learner...



China is 12 hours ahead of East Coast Time in the USA.  They will be arriving 725PM Beijing Time and traveling northeast from there to Shenyang arriving 1135PM Beijing time March 26.  After a rest day they will pick up our nearly 14 year old daughter on March 28.  Til then...God bless!

NEXT POST:  A Mother's Thoughts, A Father's Thoughts  http://tsfga.blogspot.com/2016/03/adoption-mothers-thoughts-fathers.html